Sometimes it’s there, sometimes it’s not. I can control hate, anger, passion, pain, suspicion, almost anything. I’m very well trained. But I’m not trained at controlling love. Every attempt at reaching the core and separating it from need, jealousy, passion, hate, attitude and pleasure is fruitless. Either it is a mix of all these, or it is something that I cannot grasp, something alien, belonging to another reality, unlimited and undefined and uncircumscribed. It seems that I love when I suffer, when I’m afraid, when I’m alone and more than anything feel an absence. I’d give anything to know why. It looks like pain sets me free. It feels like we’re floating on tectonic plates getting farther and farther apart, whatever we do, whatever we try, suddenly and without appeal. I love when I feel there are an infinite series of choices, and notwithstanding all this, you choose me.