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Like a vampire or an owl, I justify the first part of my surname with another self arising at night, which is completely different from my daily self. Another me lives and eats and walks and thinks at night, a being completely extirpated and which doesn’t know about the existence of light and logic. With the last orange ray at sunset, this being opens one eye after the other and gradually undertakes a silent control over my body, until the last beam of cerebral activity is set. This being installs itself in my belly and starts grating. It is not a symbiotic relationship, we don’t help each other. This thing just eats me up, it grows and infects my reasoning until my thoughts are directed towards self destruction and consumption. It is so strong that any pale attempt to keep the track towards what is real utterly enrages it until it violently reacts. If my body is tired and wants to sleep, the creature empoisons and corrupts my dreams, so that I wake up screaming and longing for help. It is a titanic creature that wouldn’t allow any other form of life around itself. I’m growing scared of myself.

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