web analytics

On the inherent dangers of being a continental European in London

1. Buy cigarettes/tobacco in your own country before you board the plane
2. This is trite but worth repeating: always look on both sides when crossing
3. Always remember to wait for the bus on the right side of the street. This can become an issue.
4. Remember to look for a queue even when you wouldn’t expect to be in one (f.e. when you’re boarding trains)
5. Watch out when you’re going out of the tube: most likely you’ll be trying to use the wrong side of the escalator / you could be dangerous.
6. Before ordering an espresso, try to peep at the other tables and check whether somebody else is having one and especially what does it look like.
7. Always carry your own napkins. You’ll find them nowhere and you’ll end up eating saucy sandwiches and trying to lick your fingers clean.
8. Try not to stare steadfastly at people wearing just t-shirts and women wearing sandals and no stockings in December.
9. Don’t ask for directions.
10. Say “Sorry” whenever you can. It can be a substitute for anything.
11. Don’t be scared by mail. You’re in the flat, all alone, and hear a strange rattle on the door and something falling on the floor something like 5 metres from you. It’s OK, it’s just a pair of bills and a CD from Amazon.
12. Never improvise when ordering something at a restaurant, counting on your good luck.
13. Remember that your Zone 1 Oyster card works for Zone 2 as well. I’ll tell you my parable so that you know how useful this piece of advice actually is. I took the Northern line to Camden not realizing that it’s in zone 2. I suddenly discovered it just before Euston and remembering what had happened a few years ago (a guy getting shot cause he was running like mad cause he had no ticket) I immediately left the train and went out. I’ve walked at least 2 miles in the cold… only to discover that my Oyster card can be used for zone 2 as well.


I need a laptop
I need Photoshop
I need Totò’s outfit when he went to Milan
The quantity of cigarettes you smoke is directly dependent on the mildness of the weather.

0 comments on “On the inherent dangers of being a continental European in London

Leave a Reply